Ben Parzybok

will forget your name, and feel very badly about it

found poetry with search suggest

These are search suggestions in Safari, powered by Google suggest. They make great (and depressing) found poetry.

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My new favorite nearly-syllabic-correct haiku:

where is the love
where is the swine flu
where is the undertaker
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Bored? What, you finished with all those degrees already?
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(ouch, though the last question seems to be well-enough answered by the preceding 9 questions)

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Things you cannot escape from: Death, taxes and… iphones!

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I love that “How can I keep from singing lyrics” is one of the top suggestions. As I’ve always suspected, music is a virus.

And as far as: How can I get taller?

Good luck with that, people.

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Had Twitter not popularized stalking,¬†‘who should I follow’ would be pretty creepy. Actually, scratch that, it still is.

Who should I follow
Who should I marry
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner

….seems like maybe someone is getting a bit ahead of himself, here.

Screen shot 2009-10-05 at 3.44.03 PMWho is my god?

I’ve alarmed the cat by¬†several dramatic readings of this in my quiet office now.

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will I ever marry lyfe jennings and get pregnant, and will it be love? Here’s a quiz!

Author: Benjamin Parzybok

My name is Ben Parzybok and I'm a novelist and programmer living in Portland, OR. @sparkwatson



  1. I’m a big fan of those searches also. A recent favorite was:

    why must i…

    why must i cry
    why must i cry lyrics
    why must i be a crustacean in love
    why must i chase the cat
    why must i be like that why must i chase the cat
    why must i cry video
    why must itself up every of a park
    why must i cry lyrics reh dogg
    why must i always explain
    why must i chase the cat lyrics

    Clearly there are a couple of songs out there I should know.

    It’s tempting to answer these questions… We need a “Google Oracle of Delphi” service.

  2. Those are awesome – Why must I chase my cat?
    I love the thought that there are large numbers of people out there vexed by what they believe to be their responsibility to chase their cat.

  3. I also was delighted to learn that some people cry lyrics or video instead of tears. I suspect I’m missing out on a great moneymaking opportunity.

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