Ben Parzybok

situation ambiguous

17 book deal.

My friend David pointed me to:

In which James Patterson got a 17 book deal with Little, Brown and Co. If I’m reading that correctly, all of those books need to be written by 2012 which is a scant two years and some change away.


I remember getting a quantity vs. quality lecture from a family friend when I was about 8 years old. At the time, I think it was an argument about whether to eat at Dick’s Drive-in or not. His argument at the time was to favor quantity over quality (he was 16), and it made perfect sense to my 8-year old brain. Not that I’m comparing James Patterson to Dick’s Drive-in. I think their burgers were 49 cents each. It didn’t say how much James Patterson will get for his deal.

James said: “I love writing stories.”

Phew! (wipes brow), good thing. Otherwise, that’d be a nightmarish job. His books average around 400 pages, so for the math-inclined: (400 pages * 300 words/page * 17 books) / 2.5 years =  a bafuckzillion.

I’m definitely going to be asking Small Beer Press for a 17 book deal. Guys? How about we ease-in slow with a six pack?

Author: Benjamin Parzybok

My name is Ben Parzybok and I'm a novelist and programmer living in Portland, OR. @sparkwatson



  1. Good luck with that bafuckzillion deal! Meanwhile, at the other end of the scales: do you ever write short stories these days? Because if you do, I hope you’ll consider sending some along to Strange Horizons. We like great weird fiction. And it’d give you something to do in your spare time between cranking out those 17 books.

  2. yeah Ben submit some great weird fiction to Strange Horizons!

  3. Hi Karen – thanks for the invite. David (Naimon, who is in my writing group) is mocking me a little here as I haven’t been able to put any submissions in an envelope for some time. Something about envelopes, and that licking you have to do {shudder}.
    I love Strange Horizons – I’ll send one over in the next while.
    Speaking of which – how is your novel coming?

  4. actually i’m not mocking you at all. i’m nudging you….


    there you go.

  5. Come on, it’s only close to 3000 words a day, every day….and you just have to write like James Patterson. “See Jane run. See Jane murdered. Jack jumped. Jack shat.” His books are great. Every page is a chapter.

  6. Slowly but surely, thanks. Oh, and one submits stories to SH through an online form, so no need to grapple with that psychological barrier of the envelope/licking problem! We understand your needs.

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