Ben Parzybok

will forget your name, and feel very badly about it

The spam I send myself

I’ve been sending myself some very interesting spam recently, at least according to my Gmail spam folder:


I have had some trouble hooking up with myself lately — phone tag, standing myself up, etc. which has caused some confusion about the house. Sometimes I arrive and when I ask, people tell me I’ve just left. Damn! Thus the bevy of emails sent from me as to my whereabouts. I do occasionally call myself darling, so that secret is out. Also, if anyone knows what kind of accident I was in, please let me know post haste.

When I open these up, Google tells me:


Alas! I already know almost all of my personal information!

Author: Benjamin Parzybok

My name is Ben Parzybok and I'm a novelist and programmer living in Portland, OR. @sparkwatson



  1. Our local cellphone provider once offered to send me text messages from God… (other similar services involve receiving text messages from celebrities but God takes the cake)

    Maybe Gmail is getting messages from a doppelganger or Ben from an alternate reality. (Maybe your future self?)

  2. I absolutely love the idea that you could sign up and receive messages from God — even better would be a text message service where you could send messages *to* God. But then I’d worry about the church-telecommunications provider relationship.

    I agree – my future self is trying to get in touch with me. I better answer those emails back.

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