Ben Parzybok

apologizes unequivocally

found poetry with search suggest

These are search suggestions in Safari, powered by Google suggest. They make great (and depressing) found poetry.

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My new favorite nearly-syllabic-correct haiku:

where is the love
where is the swine flu
where is the undertaker
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Bored? What, you finished with all those degrees already?
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(ouch, though the last question seems to be well-enough answered by the preceding 9 questions)

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Things you cannot escape from: Death, taxes and… iphones!

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I love that “How can I keep from singing lyrics” is one of the top suggestions. As I’ve always suspected, music is a virus.

And as far as: How can I get taller?

Good luck with that, people.

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Had Twitter not popularized stalking,¬†‘who should I follow’ would be pretty creepy. Actually, scratch that, it still is.

Who should I follow
Who should I marry
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner

….seems like maybe someone is getting a bit ahead of himself, here.

Screen shot 2009-10-05 at 3.44.03 PMWho is my god?

I’ve alarmed the cat by¬†several dramatic readings of this in my quiet office now.

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will I ever marry lyfe jennings and get pregnant, and will it be love? Here’s a quiz!

Author: Benjamin Parzybok

My name is Ben Parzybok and I'm a novelist and programmer living in Portland, OR. @sparkwatson



  1. I’m a big fan of those searches also. A recent favorite was:

    why must i…

    why must i cry
    why must i cry lyrics
    why must i be a crustacean in love
    why must i chase the cat
    why must i be like that why must i chase the cat
    why must i cry video
    why must itself up every of a park
    why must i cry lyrics reh dogg
    why must i always explain
    why must i chase the cat lyrics

    Clearly there are a couple of songs out there I should know.

    It’s tempting to answer these questions… We need a “Google Oracle of Delphi” service.

  2. Those are awesome – Why must I chase my cat?
    I love the thought that there are large numbers of people out there vexed by what they believe to be their responsibility to chase their cat.

  3. I also was delighted to learn that some people cry lyrics or video instead of tears. I suspect I’m missing out on a great moneymaking opportunity.

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